How to Procrastinate Like a Pro

I have accomplished many things in my life, despite what I think of myself. I am a former World Powerlifting Champion, Banker, Pawn Broker, Self-Published Children’s Writer, Loan Processor, and even more-believe it or not.

However, there are many dreams, goals, habits, left undone-sitting there on the shelf until you know — tomorrow??? So being tired of unfinished tasks, dreams, and goals, I started reading a book called Unfuck Yourself by Gary John Bishop. I especially appreciated the bold statement he makes saying I’m winning.

He asks you to look at yourself, and whether it’s a good or bad habit, he says you’re winning at it. For example, maybe you have dieted on and off your whole life-you are winning at yo-yo dieting. Perhaps your relationships are confrontational-despite why you are winning at arguing. See where I am going with this? Now, if you want to change it, then proceed to x y z. (I’m still reading the book…)

So, it dawned on me that I am really winning at procrastinating, …like hardcore winning! I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was 20, and I’m 35 and trust me, I’m not making hella much at all. I’ve wanted to compete in a Figure Competition, and I’ve been a size 2–18 and back down to a 14. I am winning as being a yo-yo dieter. I want to become tidy and organized, and my house looks like I just dropped onto OZ.

I’m not sure if anyone knows how to procrastinate quite as well as me. So, if you want to put off your goals and dreams, here’s the magic formula on How to Do It!

Blame Others for Your Delay

I know you’re waiting on your spouse, sister, father, mother, brother, or whoever to decide what they are doing so you can finally get to your goals. This may sound ridiculous, but really think about how long it takes you to make a move with your career, vacation, finances, hell even lunch. Do you let others’ opinions sway your decisions? Are you a people pleaser? Do you wait to see what they are going to do before you do you?

I am FAMOUS for delaying my dreams for other people.

Before today, I blamed them-but honestly, you choose to put someone else’s happiness before your own. If you truly need solid, unbiased advice-get a therapist. Honestly, because despite…